Heartache: This too shall pass

Have you ever experienced that excruciating pain not because you were involved in a tragic accident or had a malignant disease, but due to a failed relationship and a heart being broken? Were there times in your life when you were watching a comedy movie but your tears were falling profusely from your eyes because of heartaches?  Did it ever occur to you that eternal love was just a fiction and life had no meaning? Have you ever experienced cursing your life and swearing to death because you lost faith in love? Were there moments in your life that even in your dreams you were hurting? I strongly believe that somehow or somewhere in our mortal existence, we answered those questions with a groaning YES! I must admit, I am no exception!

In my viewpoint, the pain that we experienced because of love or failed relationship is either inflicted by others (our partner) or a consequence of our wrong decision or choice. The hurt  imposed by other people is beyond our capacity to control. What can we do if our partners purposely looked for someone else or were just too weak to resist temptations (so lame) or just simply were fallen out of love? On the other hand, sometimes it is “us” who are inviting pain to come upon ourselves. Perhaps, there were times when we knew that the relationship was wrong from the very start; and yet, we still persisted believing that love knew no boundaries and reasons; and when it failed, it dragged us to melancholy. Or, we plainly gave in to that “natural man” and unfortunately chose to hurt the “one’ we love – which sadly led us to that road of sorrow and regret! Regardless of the reason(s), we should not let our misery due to unsuccessful relationship shatter our hope and faith in love.

My heart goes to those individuals, especially women, who are brokenhearted at the moment (due to a wrong choice or caused by others). I was once in your shoes, but now I could say that I am the happiest woman alive. There are a number of suggestions that I would like to share on how to mend your broken heart and ultimately help you retrace your steps to happiness. However, I would like to warn you that these are easier said than done and these might not work for everyone. Just give it a shot anyway!

  • Acceptance is the gateway: It is impossible to start finding your way back to happiness if you are still holding on to false hopes and dreams. If your partner is cheating on you or the other party is no longer interested to make the relationship works, allow yourself to mourn for a moment but never let heartaches and denial drown you. Immediately open that gateway to healing through accepting that it’s time for you to get going!

  • Commitment is necessary: You can never move on unless you have chosen and decided NOW that you will do so. Commit and focus yourself, even if it is difficult, to keep moving forward…YOU CAN DO IT!

  • Pick up the pieces of you: Do not lose hope that someday, somewhere you will find that someone who will make you complete and will give you the true meaning of “everlasting love.” For now, start picking up the pieces of you, enhance the beauty that is already in you, love yourself and start anew… Remember, you can only give your all if your heart is whole!

  • You cannot find bliss in solitude. It is easier to forget
    your heartache if you will not do it alone! Spend time with your family. Be with people who have that sense of positivity and humor. Socialize. Don’t be so pathetic by just staying in your room and crying all day long.

  • Cease all sorts of communication: When I was still in the process of fixing my broken heart, I realized that it was extremely difficult to move forward because we’re still connected even if we were physically apart. Hence, I restricted myself from answering phone calls and SMS or responding to email messages. Also, I erased the previously received sweet nothings that were stored on my cellular phone and deleted those messages I saved in my email account for so long. Since then, forgetting the unwanted feelings and the pain was no longer a problem! Note: Restore the communication only when you are no longer affected and you have already totally moved on!

  • Do not underestimate the power of prayer. Always remember that Jesus Christ experienced both physical and emotional pain and suffering when He atoned for our sins. He can best comfort you because He comprehends what you are going through. Pray for strength that you might be able to endure the pain. Pray for courage that you might be able to forgive yourself or the one who caused you so much hurt. Pray for guidance so that you will be able to walk back to that path of joy and love without fear. Pray for wisdom that your heart will know when and to whom it should beat again.

I love the saying, “What won’t kill you makes you stronger!” Gratitude always fills my heart every time I think of how I have become because of the sufferings that I went through in the name of love. Hearing ourselves or others questioning our Maker because of heartaches and despair is an unfortunate display of conviction that fall short! It is a sad truth! But, cheer up my friends! Remember, heartaches, pain, sufferings and despair: these too shall pass. Keep praying that your broken heart will soon be mended; so that when the time comes that love will find its way back to your heart again… you are ready to welcome it with a bang! (winks)

Acknowledgement:

I would like to thank Mr. Bon Talampas for editing the picture and Ms. France Roxas for being my featured model!🙂

14 responses to “Heartache: This too shall pass

  1. Wow.. I agree with a lot of what you said and pointed out in your blog. I just want to add that sometimes, when we get to that point of despair, it sometimes push us to a place that is dark where fear and depression ruled. I have heard it said that holding on to anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. That I believed what it has been for me I guess. Instead of letting go of anger, I held on tightly. I guess when you really loose someone you love. It sucks badly!!! But what can I say… life must go on no matter what….
    The Lord has taught me many things but I believe the greatest of these is surrender. By letting go of anger, and surrendering all regrets to the Lord will set you free…

  2. what can i say …. tandem na kami ni bons…sya edit ako model … hehehehe …
    great insights … great advice … well, i guess even when you are hurting and experiencing an unbelievable pain whether it may be because of the loss of a partner or loss of a family burden … just lift up your burden to God and he will do the rest. I have heard in one of the teachings from one of my SFC activity “when you worry, you are insulting God”
    So learn to trust God …

    chang, once again i really admire your blogs …and i am so glad that you have finally started with your blog site and continued to do your passion in writing … keep on inspiring us!

    luv you!

  3. ang galing relationship doctor!? hihi!
    ang dami namang wisdom ni chang nadaig nako sa bonistation haha!

    ang hahaba din ng comment nun dalawa… at salamat extra ako haha! ^^

    anyway… they call it madness, but I call it love..

  4. @KC: Khris, I strongly agree. We should never hold grudges and bitterness. Thanks for your additional insight… I know it will enlighten my followers who are in despair as of the moment… thank you and i love you! (hindi ka naman bitter pa?) hehehe joke!

    @Ate Kitty: Thanks for sharing your experiences, nagbibigay sa akin ng ideas on what to write next in my “love column” hahahaha Kidding aside… I’ve seen you mature especially when it comes to the matter of the heart… Knowing God and believing in Him really make a difference… The best way to healing, forgiveness and moving on ay ang magtrust in Him…🙂 Thanks for being so willing na maging model ko always… I really appreciate it! Love you!

    @Kuya Bonski: Mas deep thinker ka naman sa akin noh! kaya, way to go Bonistation!!!! Sobrang nakakarelate ata ang dalawa, kaya todo ang comments… hahahaha So you are not MAD? Therefore, you are in LOVE? hehehe thanks for editing the picture! Love you!

  5. I agree sa lahat ng sinasabi mo chang ay tama!!!! because i also experienced this situation.na kahit ano man pilit natin na maging masaya sa pan labas but deep inside our heart is always searching and longing for something.Minsan talaga ma icip natin na is this the end of my world? Thank you so much chang for reminding me that i should pick up some pieces or missing pieces lol.I agree talaga that leeting go of someone you love is not easy but that is the best way to do.Because someday,somehow…..They might find the happiness their looking for…Continue to write inspiring message because you inspire and help most especially people who in struggle right now. I always love chang that I found a freind na talagang di nag babago inspite of all the achievements you have right now.

    • naks naman! Thanks Berlay for your kind words… I know, all of us went through some sort of failures especially sa love… We both know how it’s like to have a broken heart! char!🙂

      I love you Berlay and thanks for being such a supportive friend!!!! LEt me know when can i write about your experiences…. JOKE!!!!!!! PEACE!!!!! (erase erase erase) heheheh

  6. grasyas amega! your absolutely and definitely right.Love is the special word that God created before the world had been created and soon shall pass away…

    Viva!!!

  7. love it! First paragraph palang nasapul na ko… lol! I also love your 6 “pointers”… they do help a person get back up on their feet…

    • LOL…. I know!

      But I’m glad Lois that we didn’t lose hope and faith in love… otherwise, we wouldn’t be this happy!!!! Stay happy and in love….🙂

      I hope this blog will inspire many!🙂

  8. Hay!very uplifting words, because i came to have that kind of Experience Charissa!!! (CHAR! hahahahahhhaha…)all of the advices that you have in there ay ginawa ko yan..so nakaka relate ako iha!!!hahahah at first akala ko kay Miss Kitty itong mga emote moments na ito hehehehheh di FAla model pala siya.. a very nice and strong na pag eemote na akala mo at ist siya nasa storya hehehehehhe… ( sorry Ms. Kitty )

    And to my surprise waaaaahhhhh You pala Charissa!!!!hehehhe a lots of momentum kaya siguro friends tayo kasi we both the same, in actions, my dialogue natin sa hubbies natin at higit sa lahat ang kalerkehan natin…Kidding aside it is really nice to knew that u are a good writer keep posting your Blogs…it gives ideas and strenght to other people to “MOVE ON” ewwww hindi lang sila ang guys or Girls sa mundo anoh!!sobrang madami pa itchura nalang nila …Kering-keri yan.heheheeheh..Thanks Cha for this …mwaaaaahhh!!! see you mamaya!!!at oi dai the bisaya Version hay im so excited na read more blogs from you…Love you Chang!!!

    • Ate LEn, Miss Kitty is such a natural artist! I always ask her to model for anything… my blog and in the future… my photography! maniningil na yan next time! hahahaha

      I know you can relate (unsaon nalang ang 25waistline sauna pero heartbroken) !!!! hahahahha I’m glad that we were able to move on and didn’t allow heartaches to ruin our future happiness… See? We are blessed now to have a wonderful family of our own!🙂

      I’m sure you will love my next cebuano post… hahahaha FAvorite topic mo! I love you Ate LEn and it’s nice to have known you here in Saudi Arabia! mwah
      Thanks for being an avid follower of chazsm!

      • thanks sa mga nakaka appreciate sa aking mga emoticons. …hehehehehe …. i will do my best para sa iba pang pictures hehehehehe … kaka pressure na tuloy! anything for my best friend chang … kahit walang bayad!

  9. hmmm…..doctor love esteh…sis……WOW!!!…even if i didn’t have that kind of experiences, reading all what was written above makes me feel so lucky now..keep posting such good thoughts of yours..i will be one of those interested fellow..(kuyawan man sad ta ani.. informed kog pinaabtik if naa kay new post..)

    • Bro, good for you that you didn’t have to go through those painful experiences… hhahahah You’re so blessed for having an awesome wife and an adorable child… So, be good! hahahaha

      (oo, inform tika ug pina-abtik if naa ko new post sama ani!) hahaha

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